A Vignette Which, to the Best of My Memory, Actually Happened at the Liquor Store Where I Work Some Nights

Submitted by Andy on Mon, 08/06/2012 - 19:03

(enter stage left Walrusman, a unkempt gentleman who brings in returns but never makes purchases. He places thirteen empty cans on the counter.)

WALRUSMAN: I have fifteen.

ANDY: No, you have thirteen.

WALRUSMAN: That's fifteen.

(Andy prints a receipt)

ANDY: Thirteen.

WALRUSMAN: You have no soul.

ANDY: Sure.

WALRUSMAN: What does your mother think of you?

ANDY: She probably thinks I could apply myself more, but otherwise I believe she thinks well.

WALRUSMAN: What are you doing in the fall?