A Vignette Which, to the Best of My Memory, Actually Happened at the Liquor Store Where I Work Some Nights

Submitted by Andy on Mon, 08/06/2012 - 19:03

(enter stage left Walrusman, a unkempt gentleman who brings in returns but never makes purchases. He places thirteen empty cans on the counter.)

WALRUSMAN: I have fifteen.

ANDY: No, you have thirteen.

WALRUSMAN: That's fifteen.

(Andy prints a receipt)

ANDY: Thirteen.

WALRUSMAN: You have no soul.

ANDY: Sure.

WALRUSMAN: What does your mother think of you?

ANDY: She probably thinks I could apply myself more, but otherwise I believe she thinks well.

WALRUSMAN: What are you doing in the fall?

The Belgian Emissary

Submitted by Andy on Mon, 10/24/2011 - 10:22

Two years ago I made my senior circuit debut as a musicologist at the 2nd International Conference on Music and Minimalism in Kansas City. I really can't imagine a better place for me to have done that, since it was perhaps the only moment possible where major scholars would have tolerated a rigorous pitch analysis of a work that they not only had never heard but was titled Crazy Nigger.

Research refutes "digital native" theory

Submitted by Andy on Sun, 08/21/2011 - 16:19

Marc Prensky's "digital native" theory, that there is a a distinct shift in technological understanding for those born circa 1970(ish), is something I always think about whenever some jackass from Best Buy describes a computer as "something your mom can use!" I often end up informing them rather indelicately that my mom was typesetting shit by command line before they could control their own bowels.