A Vignette Which, to the Best of My Memory, Actually Happened at the Liquor Store Where I Work Some Nights
(enter stage left Walrusman, a unkempt gentleman who brings in returns but never makes purchases. He places thirteen empty cans on the counter.)
WALRUSMAN: I have fifteen.
ANDY: No, you have thirteen.
WALRUSMAN: That's fifteen.
(Andy prints a receipt)
WALRUSMAN: You have no soul.
WALRUSMAN: What does your mother think of you?
ANDY: She probably thinks I could apply myself more, but otherwise I believe she thinks well.
WALRUSMAN: What are you doing in the fall?